Archive for August, 2007

Escape

Monday, August 13th, 2007

Phew! That was close! I nearly got landed with delivering Riva’s paper, Understanding the New Realities of Metrics, Audience Measurement and Research in the Digital Age, a subject about which I know diddly-squat.
That’s not quite true. I had listened to her rehearsing the 30-minute talk on a dozen occasions, each one slightly different, and God help me if I didn’t notice the changes.
But my fear was that delegates at the Asia Pacific Publishing Convention in Kuala Lumpur would ask technical questions I would be incapable of answering. You can only fall back on the uncontrollable coughing and spluttering technique once.
Riva’s mother is 97. She has heart and kidney problems, diabetes and a GP’s nightmare of secondary ailments. When we flew to KL, we knew Diana was unwell. But on the taxi to the hotel, Riva got a bad-news email. Could be only a couple of days, said the GP. Riva chewed her nails for a bit but got the next flight back – to discover her mother had stabilised, was sitting up, talking happily and doing crosswords again.
Back in KL, it looked like I would be landed with her plenary session. Hundreds of senior people from all over Asia listening to me bumbling about something I clearly didn’t understand. Fortunately Cyril Pereira, the convention’s chairman, saw me suffering. He knows something of the subject, took Riva’s notes and Powerpoint, and bravely stepped in.
Could I have done it, in extremis? No. But it didn’t stop me asking a really tough question in the post-talk session: “Cyril, how long do you think it will be before these methodologies catch up with consumer behaviour?”
Would I have dared to ask the same question of Riva? You’ve gotta be kidding.

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Lost

Monday, August 13th, 2007

Dateline: August 2. Venue: A cupboard on the 28th floor of the Prince Hotel, Kuala Lumpur
Set yourself up as a media guru and you’re primed for a pratfall.
In the post-coital glow of completing my talk at the Asia Pacific Publishing Convention in Kuala Lumpur, I unwisely offered mini-consultancy services.
My bit was easy: the editorial things we know but keep forgetting. Thirty minutes flies by if you talk about headlines, wasted words, intros and picture use.
The audience laughed at some of my jokes, especially the headline: Man Found Dead in Graveyard. No tricky questions. I was feeling good. “… and if any of you would like to bring along your magazine, newspaper or website, I’m happy to talk them through with you and perhaps giver you some fresh ideas on content or presentation.”
Leave when you’re winning is a pretty good lesson to life. If I’d slipped my brain out of neutral, I would have realised that I was in Malaysia. Even my dodgy geography should have spotted that it’s in Asia. Other countries nearish-by include India, Taiwan, Japan, the Philippines, Dubai…And guess what? They don’t all speak English.
So how do you assess the quality of the editorial in a business magazine about Chinese advertising, or a Japanese computer website, or a Malaysian local paper, when they are written in the native tongue? By speaking the language, of course, and more importantly, being able to read it.
Until everyone leaves, I fear that I shall be eating in my room and not answering the phone unless your magazine or newspaper is in English, and not Japanese, Hindi, Malay, Cantonese or Sanskrit.

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